The Grim Reaper, while wading into the accumulated floodwaters and attempting to carry out his job duties, was struck in his skeletal face by a stop sign that had come loose during an earlier wind gust, several eyewitnesses later reported.
"What the hell is a basilisk?" one juror is reported to have asked, noting Manafort's apparent demonic "cabinet of curiosities" contained both fangs and skin. Thankfully, a juror with two children who are fans of the beloved Harry Potter franchise were able to illuminate this particular mystery.
Several mainstream media outlets suggested Little Horn Trump ought to appoint a woman to the High Court, but we here at AntiTrump.com, being well-versed in both scatamancy and at least three types of numerology, have heard rumblings that The Beast might be looking to go even further and appoint an actual demon to the bench.
Impish sources told Marchoisias that the tiny demon that lives inside of the Anti-Christ's careful coiffure and perches on his shoulder was just begging the Little Horn to hit send on an already composed tweet.
Ahead of Trump's England visit, we sent the Marquis Marchoisias, our best infernal correspondent, to the countryside to scope out local sentiment toward the Little Horn, away from the hubbub of the city.